When you’re a mom, it’s so easy to get into a narrative about how long it has been since you had a full night’s sleep, what phase you’re going through with your baby. It’s easy to forget that time is passing so quickly that your storyline needs constant updating. I recently had one of those moments when I realized my storyline had changed without me noticing. The other day, I called up several preschools to arrange tours for figuring out baby girl’s entrance into the world of school (school!) and said, “My name is Laura Cowan. I’m a local parent of a preschooler.”
Just saying that out loud blew my mind. Isn’t this my baby girl pictured here, smiling up at me from her cosleeper, waking up 5 times a night to nurse, trying her first solids, or at least screaming her way through wicked tantrums and refusing to potty train?
Not anymore. That was so 5 minutes ago.
Particularly when it comes to sharing my struggles, I constantly need to remind myself to not obsess about the negative. Waking up weeping because I didn’t get more than 1 hour of sleep in a row last night? No, that was over a year ago. I need to stop thinking of that as part of our sleep story, because baby girl has been regularly sleeping through the night for several months now.
Yes, I know she’s turning 3 soon, which is why it’s so tough to let go of my omg-I-am-so-sleep-deprived storyline. The truth is it will take me awhile to recover from all this sleep deprivation, from the high-voltage tantrums that left me feeling like a failure day after day. Maybe I’m just not so great at transitions. Maybe this is every mom’s story on some level or another. But what I do know is that updating my storyline helps me live in the present, and that’s something I need to be reminded to do again and again.
What is your updated storyline? What old storyline do you need to leave in the past? Let me know in comments.